Moses’ reticence to lead and his doubts as to his ability to carry out his mission are well known. When chosen by God to free Israel from bondage, he says: “But behold, they will not believe me or listen to my voice, for they will say, the Lord did not appear to you” (Exodus 4:1). At Massa and Meriba he says: “What shall I do with this people? They are almost ready to stone me” (17:4). Now, in parashat Beha’alotekha, he says: “I cannot carry all this people by myself, for it is too much for me. If You would deal thus with me, kill me rather, I beg You, and let me see no more of my wretchedness!” (11:14-15).

In his commentary on the phrase “let me see no more of my wretchedness”, Rashi (1040 -1105) explains: “Scripture should have written ‘their wretchedness’, but it employs a euphemism. This is one of the scribal emendations to the Torah for the purpose of modifying and adjusting the text”. According to Rashi (relying on the midrash (Tanhuma (Warsaw) Beshallah 16) the actual intent is to the “wretchedness” of Israel. In other words, Moses faces a crisis of leadership due to the recalcitrant nature of the Israelites. He feels that he can no longer lead this obdurate people. As opposed to Rashi, Abraham Ibn Ezra (1092-1167) writes that Moses is referring to his own “wretchedness” and there is no need to interpret this as a scribal emendation. In other words, it would appear that according to Ibn Ezra, Moses’ words reflect his frustration and disappointment with his own inability to carry out the task he was given.

Other leaders, as well, prayed for death in the face of their inability to carry out their mission. After his victorious confrontation with the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel, and there execution at the Kishon, “Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, So may the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow” (I Kings 19:2). Elijah flees to the desert and prays: “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am no better than my fathers” (19:4).

After God says to Jeremiah: “Though Moses and Samuel stood before me, yet my heart would not turn toward this people. Send them out of my sight, and let them go!” (Jeremiah 15:1), the hounded and threatened prophet wishes that he were never born: “Woe is me, my mother, that you bore me, a man of strife and contention to the whole land! I have not lent, nor have I borrowed, yet all of them curse me” (19:10).

1. Did Moses’ protests at the burning bush reflect a lack of faith in his ability to lead or in the people’s ability to believe and follow?

2. Moses’ words in parashat Beha’alotekha reflect deep despair and disappointment. With whom is he disappointed according to Rashi and with whom according to Ibn Ezra?

3. Moses’ repeated refusals at the burning bush reflect a measure of doubt regarding God’s ability, as we learn from the verse: “And the Lord said to him, "Who gives man speech? Who makes him dumb or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?” (Exodus 4:11). Do Mosesw words in Beha’alotekha reflect this kind of doubt? Is there a difference in this regard between the approach of Rashi and that of Ibn Ezra?

4. Elijah’s words were spoken after his success resulted in his life being threatened. Jeremiah wished for death after God told him that even if he were Moses or Samuel, He would not listen. In what ways can Moses’ situation be compared to the situations of these prophets, and in what ways does it differ?